Recently I heard a beautiful explanation of the Bracha of Shehechiyanu from Reb Yoel Unger. The Bracha of Shehechiyanu has so many words and could have been made shorter.  We say “Blessed are You, King of the World”, then we say “You gave us life (Shehechiyanu), You sustained us (Vikiyamanu), and You brought us to this moment in time (Vahigiyanu lazman ha’ze).”  The Bracha could have been shortened to say, “Blessed are You, Hashem our G-d, King of the World, who brought us to this time.”  Why all these words? 

Also, it’s an interesting Bracha. It rhymes: Shehechiyanu, Vikiyamanu, Vahigiyanu Lazman Haze.  How are we to make sense of all of this?

Tosofos in Tractate Succah says that the Bracha is made from time to time, it’s a Bracha on the times.  We making this Bracha for events that recur in the world.  Shchechiyanu for the new holidays and new fruits that come every year, for appreciating the way the world works in cycles. For the birth of a child there is a Schehechiyanu as well.  The Almighty sends us many good things, and this is the reason for all the words that we have in this Bracha.

Shehechiyanu ~ Hashem gives us life.

Vikiyamanu ~ and He sustained us all along the way from the time He gave us life until now.                                                                                                                Vahigiyanu ~ and He brought us to this time.

This past Motzie Shabbos I made this Bracha over the Chanukah lights.  And I cried.  How wonderful it is to look back at all the places that I have been and I see that Hashem is still taking care of me.  He gave me life, and he has sustained me until this point, and he has brought us to this time.

 It was on Motzei Shabbos the we got confirmation that Ahuvah Nava was going to be coming home on the first day of Chanukah.  The first day of Chanukah is the 25th of Kislev. The Mishnah Berurah explains that it is called Chanukah because Chanu (they rested) on Ka, the 25th.  The Chashmonaiem came into the Beis Hamikdash and they had to disassemble the Mizbeiach that had been used prior and build a new one because the former altar had been used for idol worship. 

They reinaugurated the Beis Hamikdash, but this was not the same Beis Hamikdash that they had been thrown out of by the Yevanim.  The Yevanim decreed that doing the service in the Beis Hamikdash was punishable by death. And the Bach tells us that the reason the service in the Beis Hamikdash was taken away from them is that they became lax in its service. As Reb Ellie Shus once explained to me, the experience of the Chashmonaim was what can be referred to as the cornered tiger syndrome.  When the tiger is cornered, he will fight his hardest.  And when the Jewish people were threatened with the loss of the service of the Bais Hamikdash, they fought there hardest.  So the House they came in to was not the House they left.  The House they came into had been fought for, and was therefore at a much higher level. 

My wife and I left our home on the 21st of the month of Chesvan, November 6, Election Day to stay at the hospital. Coming home on the first day of Chanukah, the 25th of Kislev, we know that it was not the same home that we had left.  We left the home of a husband and wife and we are inaugurating our home as a family. This is the song of Mizmor Shir Chanukas Habais, Psalm 30, the dedication, the song,  that was written to be said at the dedication of the first Bais Hamikdash, a song that is appropriate for all new beginnings.

Yesterday we arrived at our new base camp. It is from here that we will plan our future growth and our future adventures. The Master of the World is ever bringing us higher to new base camps, new opportunities.  When it is appropriate for us to rest and camp, may we appreciate those times in our lives, and may we also appreciate those times in our lives when it is appropriate to climb.

It was about 1 pm and Elisheva had gone downstairs to pull up the car.  It was the 25th day of Kislev, the first day of Chanukah, and it was very cold.  I was just finishing putting my jacket on and taking a last look around the room that my daughter Ahuvah Nava, was about to leave, Room 4160.  I took a peek next door to Room 4158 where Elisheva and I had slept for two weeks.  I was told by Betsy, the charge nurse, that it was the first time a hospital bed had ever been brought to the NICU.  All other parents sleep on pullout couches, but this was not an option for me.  It made me feel loved by the Ribono Shel Olam, and it made me appreciate once again the kindness that had been shown to my wife and me. 

My mother-in-law Aliza Bulow put Ahuvah’s oxygen on the back of my wheelchair and placed Ahuvah in her carseat on my lap, and we slowly began to make our exit.  The day we have been hoping for, davening for, and yearning for… had come. 

When we left the elevator on the first floor, we noticed that there was some kind of performance going on for the children.  My mother-in-law asked me, “Are you interested in staying?”  I said, “Not even for a minute!”  I looked around and took in the sights and sounds of the moment. I slowed my chair down and moved slowly toward the door to the outside.  My mother-in-law said, “You weren’t able to carry your bride across the threshold, but you can carry your daughter across the threshold.”

 I felt like Hashem’s kindness was just being piled onto me in bucket loads.  I had such a big smile on my face as I passed through one set of automatic doors, and then before the second set I  stopped.  I took a deep breath. The doors had opened and  I felt the cold air.  I looked up and saw the sun.  It felt like Hashem was smiling at me, almost as great as it felt on my wedding day…something very similar.  And with that, I pushed the controller forward, and Yehoshua with his daughter Ahuvah Nava took their leave of Children’s Hospital, only to see what the next adventure would bring.

In this week’s Parsha, Yaakov Avinu, says,” it is with my staff that I crossed this Jordan River.” And Rashi points out that the first time Yaakov Avinu crossed the Yardein, all he had was his staff. The Sfas Emes says that Yaakov Avinu was saying that the first time I crossed the Jordan River all I had was my staff. Now I am coming back across the Yardein with wives, concubines, family, children, wealth, and animals….unbelievable. We see from here that a person should take a moment at every stage of life that he reaches to recount all the steps along the way that it took to get there. Yaakov Avinu knew that he was about the meet Esav, yet he still took time to appreciate what he had. Yaakov Avinu saw… I am about to meet Esav and things are going to be scary, and I don’t know if I will live, or if my family will suffer, or if I will kill chas v’shalom. But he took a moment to appreciate that the first time he crossed the Yardein all he had was his staff, and now he is crossing once again and he has wives, children, animals, and wealth.

So too in our lives we are responsible at every time we reach a new stage to turn around and recount the steps it took to that point. It takes an entire lifetime to get to where we are standing today. It is amazing to think that five and a half years ago I thought my life took a turn for the worse. I broke my neck, I left the hospital two days before Chanukah, and the following Pesach I got engaged. We took many more steps along the way, many adventures. After many more steps the long awaited day came and my wife gives birth to two beautiful girls. Sadly Rivkah Chaya was only to stay with us for two weeks, but her sister Ahuvah Nava is doing wonderfully, and we are constantly davening that she continue in her progress. Just to turn around right now when we don’t know what is going to be. We have just suffered a traumatic loss but we still need to look back. I never would have imagined this on that day August 6, 2007. I never would have imagined this, what Ribono Shel Olam has brought me to. May we all merit to recognize the Master of the World in our lives little bit more and may we merit to appreciate what we have just a little bit more.

Today I was thinking about this week's Torah portion, parshas Vayishlach. In it we read how Yaakov Avinu comes to meet Eisav, and in preparing to do so, he sends a gift to Eisav, he prepares for war by splitting his camp, and he asks Hashem for help. In Yaakov Avinu's conversations with Hashem, in seeking help from the Almighty, the Ribono Shel Oilam -the Master of the World-, who he has a personal relationship with, one of the things he says is, "Katonti mikol hachasadim- I am humbled from all of your kindness." That is something I was thinking about today, that, yes, there is suffering, sadness, not only my sadness, there is the sadness of my wife, and of the family, my family, my wife's family, our extended family, but also of the community, the community of all the Jewish people in Denver, who Rivka Chaya touched in her life, but also the greater community of the Jewish people, klal Yisroel. 

There are so many people whose lives she touched. 

So there is the sadness that people feel, but something that I was thinking about today, in what I feel, is Hashem's chesed. Hashem is so kind to us. 

In reflecting back, the day finally came, the day my wife and I waited so long for, that she came to give birth, and when she gave birth to twins, it was a tremendous simcha, a tremendous joy. I was told by a friend of mine, that the whole Yeshivas Mir was jumping up and down, and I was told the same thing from another friend about Torah Ohr. It brought simcha to so many people! And, then, we were tested, tried, and challenged with Rivka Chaya's sickness of chylothorax, and sadly with her petirah, her passing. But the amount of people that she touched, caused to touch us.

I heard from someone whose child was constantly in and out of the hospital that the explanation he was given by a great posek to be passed on to his own children about why his son is constantly in and out of the hospital was that his son's purpose was to be a catalyst for chesed, kindness.

That's something that I saw in my life that my parents tell me about, that, after I broke my neck, I was in the hospital and people just wanted to give, people just wanted to do and help in any way possible. This was Rivka Chaya. She was also a catalyst for chesed.  She made people want to give.

When I was in the hospital, my father send out a recommendation that people should take on mitzvos to be a zechus, merit, for my recovery. I heart such stories about Rivka Chaya, that people improved the quality of the mitzvos they were already doing, and certain people took on new mitzvos. She was a catalyst for chesed.

  "Katonti mikol hachasadim..."

I am humbled from seeing Hashem's kindness. Hashem brought so much kindness into the world through Rivka Chaya. But it wasn't just about Rivka Chaya.

What's interesting to note is that as soon as it was apparent we were to be staying in the hospital, people arranged meals. Baruch Hashem the meals came, and came, and they are still coming. We feel so taken care of. The emotion I cannot let go of is ashreinu mah tov chelkeinu, how fortunate are we, that this is our lot, how fortunate are we that we are members of the Jewish people, taking care of each other of in the most magnificent of ways.

I was waiting in line for a bus recently, and an Oriental man came up to me and said: "You! You're lucky!" 

"Oh," I said, "and why's what?"

"Because you're from the Chosen People."

"You're right," I replied, "I am lucky."

Just feeling the Ribbono Shel Oilam's chessed along the way!  We were given a room when we stayed at St. Joseph's hospital for close to three weeks. Something which is quite rare is that we were also given a room for the time being at Children's Hospital. I feel the presence of the Ribbono Shel Oilam. That message that says, I didn't forget about you! I am taking care of you! Your family is constantly around you! Your friends! Your acquaintances! How far do the Jewish people reach! How many tehillim lists have my daughters been on! 

It's quite a zechus.

Ashreinu mah tov chelkeinu!

How fortunate are we to be members of the Jewish people.

Mi k'amcha Yisroel!

Who is like your nation Israel.

The Jewish people are wonderful, and it is wonderful to be part of the Jewish people.